


The Moment and the Time War

by Trickster_Angel



Series: The Saga of the Woman in Gold [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Episode: The Day of the Doctor, F/M, Minisode: The Night of the Doctor, There's a canon divergence at one point that affects the Doctor's entire timeline, Time War, somewhat of a resolution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-06 22:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1875168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster_Angel/pseuds/Trickster_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Time War must end. And it's time the Doctor ends it. He knows this. But he needs some help to do it. </p><p>The Time War must end. And it's time the Doctor ends it.The Woman in Gold knows this. But she needs some help to do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Moment and the Time War

**Author's Note:**

> Not brit-picked. All mistakes are my own.

Her punishment for looking into the Heart of the TARDIS is severe. She loses her voice. She loses her freedom, bound to the TARDIS for all eternity. But the worst punishment of all is that her Doctor cannot see her.

She can’t count the number of years she spends silent and invisible. She does what she can, communicating with the companions and sparing him the pain of knowing of her existence. It’s a struggle to watch him going about his life, oblivious to her presence.

She doesn’t know when he’ll find out about her. But she knows that it won’t be soon enough. She watches him die over and over again. Even when he isn’t near her she knows. She can see it happen every time. And every time, she is powerless to stop it.

***

This is one such time. If she was able to touch him, she’d grab his frock coat and drag him inside the TARDIS and fly away. The woman, Cass, doesn’t want to come and she knows Cass’s death is immanent. Her Doctor’s is as well, if he doesn’t leave the woman.

Compared to her other Doctors, this one is darker. She’d watched companions step inside the TARDIS only for their adventures with her Doctor to end with their deaths. She hadn’t seen it from the start but time can do terrible things. The Time War is taking its toll on her Doctor. It’s draining the goodness out of him bit by bit. She doubted Grace would even recognize him now.

She doesn’t understand why he insists on standing at the door, calling to the stubborn woman on the other side. Cass will not come. She would scream to her Doctor but her voice is gone.

When the ship crashes, she watches it in slow motion. Cass dies instantly.

What is seconds to her Doctor is a thousand years for her. He barely feels a thing.  She thinks it is never ending.

She waits inside the TARDIS, the poor TARDIS, grown dark and decrepit with age. The Time War affects all. She stays and stares at her Doctor’s body. She knows he is dead and she knows the Sisterhood will resurrect him but she cannot help but cry. This is the man she loves, the man she gave everything for and he lies broken at her feet.

She was once the bringer of life and death. She resurrected Jack and killed the daleks. Yet she is still useless in this situation. She must wait for the Sisterhood to come.

***

The Sisterhood saves her Doctor but first they make him swear to end the Time War. He’s inside the TARDIS now, muttering about how he’d rather be dead. She watches him move, watches as he sets the coordinates he needs. She’d reach out and try to comfort him if she could. She knows what he faces and she knows it will only get worse from here on out.

***

Ten years down the road, she wonders how _her_ Doctor managed to be so cheerful.

***

Twenty years down the road, she wonders how _her_ Doctor managed to sleep.

***

Thirty years down the road, she wonders how Earth was spared from such horrors.

***

Forty years on and she doesn’t want to count anymore.

***

She isn’t sure how long it’s been, maybe it’s been fifty years or so, but she wishes he would take another companion. She knows he can’t and won’t but she’s awfully lonely. Companion contact would do him a world of good.

***

It’s longer after that when she starts to be attacked as well. Nothing is spared in the Time War. He is almost killed in the fighting but she can’t let him die under her protection again.

***

She doesn’t know how long he fights. She would guess that it is well over a hundred years before he realizes what he must do. And she knows what he must do.

The Moment calls to her. It enchants her. It promises to make her whole again. Her Doctor will be able to see and hear her. She knows he needs the Moment to end the Time War. He’s said its name in her presence but he’s never gone to retrieve it. Every time he flies away, she wonders what he wants to run from, the Moment or the Time War. If she could spare him she would but she cannot. 

For the first time, she takes control of the TARDIS. She resets the coordinates and dashes around the console, flipping switches and pressing buttons.

Her Doctor is surprised, trying to set everything right. “What are you doing?” he asks the TARDIS as if he expects her to appear and explain her plan.

It’s a bit tricky to get inside the Time Vaults but she manages to do it nonetheless. The Moment helps her inside and the TARDIS stops right before it.

Once they’ve landed her Doctor steps outside the TARDIS and looks around. “Why would you take me here?” he asks, defeated, because he knows where he is. Any second the Time Lords will find out he’s there.

She can see outside the TARDIS and sees the Moment in front of him.

 _I brought him. Now help me,_ she says to it.

 _Make sure he takes me,_ it replies.

 _I will_ , she says.

 _He won’t remember you. He must not know_ Rose Tyler _when he first meets her. He will look for a way to change everything if he remembers._

_I know that as well. You pass judgment. This is his sentence._

_Yes. He will forget your aid. He will regenerate. And he will carry this burden forever. Do whatever you have to to make sure he ends it._ The Moment is ruthless. But they both understand what must be done to save the universe. Her Doctor’s life, memories, and guilt are small prices to pay.

Cautiously, she approaches the edge of the TARDIS. She’s never stepped beyond it. Not since she was human and she doesn't know how long ago that was. It has been far too long. 

She gasps quietly when she manages to put one foot outside the TARDIS. She moves the other next to it and immediately takes in the view. She is in the Time Vaults, with her Doctor, visible and audible because of the device on her Doctor’s other side. She exhales and smiles at her new freedom.

“Who’s there?” Her Doctor asks, turning around quickly. He’s afraid but curious. Cautious but interested.

“It’s nothing,” she says, “It’s just a wolf.”

“You shouldn’t be here.” He looks around quickly. “We shouldn’t be here.”

“I wouldn’t take you here if you didn’t need to be here. There is something you need,” she says. She can’t believe she has a voice again. It sounds so foreign to her ears. 

“What would I possibly need from here?” her Doctor demands but they both know the answer. There are only two weapons here now. The rest have already been used. She walks over to the Moment and uncovers it, showing it off to her Doctor. They are collaborating, she and the Moment. They both know what must happen.

“Stay away from that,” her Doctor says, pulling her away. He can touch her too.  She can’t count the number of times she’s wished this has happened.

“We need it,” she insists, meeting his eyes, “You need to take us.”

“You’re the Moment.” It isn’t a question.

 “Yes and no. But the Time Lords will be here soon. You need to take us and go.”

“I cannot fly out of here. I don’t even know how I got in here.”

“That was me. I can get us out just as easily. So you take the Moment.” She walks back towards the TARDIS, knowing her Doctor is following her with the device.

The Moment itself is relatively small. Despite its consciousness, the Moment isn’t very impressive at a glance. It just looks like a small box made of gears and metal. Her Doctor places it inside the TARDIS.

“Do you want to explain who you are now?” he asks. He watches her work her way around the console, flipping switches and pressing buttons.

“Nothing. I’m nothing. Just a remnant of a girl and a wolf. Did you know that you leave the breaks on?” she says instead. She hits a button and the TARDIS dematerializes without a sound.

“You know, I like it better with that sound,” she says and presses the button again.

“How do you know how to fly the TARDIS?” her Doctor says, moving next to her to look at the coordinates. “A desert?”

“Wouldn’t you prefer to be alone for this?” she asks. He doesn’t reply.

They land within a minute, inside a little shack. The walls are thin and sunlight is streaming through. It seems ironically bright.

“Why are we here?” he asks, looking around the room. She recognizes a plough in the corner and other farming tools.

“You can’t be near Gallifrey.”

“When I blow it up,” he finished, “Who are you?” He kneels down to inspect the Moment.

“I’ve had a few names. In this form, I’m called Bad Wolf.”

“The interface is hot,” he exclaims, drawing his hand back.

“I had a lot to work with,” she replies, “You are such a flirt."

“What?” he asks, “Never mind.” He looks over the box carefully. “I’ve been considering this for years. But I never could bring myself to get it.”

“That’s why I’m here,” she says, approaching him and leaning over to observe the Moment.

“How does it work?” he asks, “I would have imagined a button of some sort.”

“The Moment does have a consciousness,” she explains, “It will react to your thoughts.”

Just like that, the Moment opens up and a long stalk grows upwards. At about one meter it stops and on top a button blossoms. It looks like a red rose.

“A rose?” he says.

“For Arkytior, perhaps” she replies.

“You know about her?”

“Of course.”

“You seem to know everything about me. What of you?”

“I am Bad Wolf. The Moment must have thought this form was appropriate,” she says, looking over her clothes. She’s wearing a white blouse, off-white skirt, green-grey vest, black tights and light brown boots. Maybe, once upon a time, the outfit would have looked nice but it has since fallen apart. The skirt is tied in a knot by her knee. The blouse is littered with holes, the biggest in the crooks of her elbows. Her tights are torn as well. Several holes allow her skin to peek through. She looks like a woman who may have been important who has since gone to war. Among them, who hasn’t? “And I am in your head. Of course I know everything about you.”

Her Doctor doesn’t say anything for a while. He stares at the button, as if waiting it to destroy Gallifrey for him. He’s breathing heavily like he’d been running for a long time. She would say something, but she doesn’t want to interrupt his concentration. She’s seen how it ends and she knows what he becomes. If she could, she’d take the Moment back to the vaults. Let him run, let him be free of that pain that plagued _her_ Doctor his entire life. She hates that she has to force it on him. But how many more innocents will die while he waits. Slaughtered by daleks and Time Lords alike. Some haven’t even picked sides and they are killed in droves. How many races go extinct as he watches that red button?

“It isn’t going to disappear,” she says after a while. As long as the war persists, the Moment will be there, waiting for her Doctor. He can run if he wants to, but it will not disappear.

“I know,” he replies. They fall into silence again. She watches him as he watches the Moment. Since his birth, her Doctor had changed. He’d cut his hair so short. The classy Edwardian gentleman died a long time ago. While he wore a variant of his original outfit, it was different. The colors were darker now. He made less of an effort with his appearance. Sometimes he wore that leather jacket she loves.  It reminds her of someone she misses. He is not wearing it today.

“I am here to help you,” she says, “You know what choice you have to make. I’m here to make sure you make the right one.”

“How can I make this choice?” he asks, “All those people.”

“The Time War must end,” she responds, “War spares no one. The Moment must come. No more.”

“And the sacrifices?” he questions, “What of the innocent?”

“Every war has sacrifices. Such is the nature of war.”

He laughs cruelly. “You are a weapon. What do you know of sacrifices?”

She’s rendered speechless. What does she say? He’s looking at her almost smugly, as if he’s bested her. 

 “I know plenty about sacrifice,” she says to him, “The Moment has a consciousness but it cannot create an entire being. It took me.”

“From where?”

“From the TARDIS. I’ve been here the entire time. Haven’t you heard of the woman in gold, Doctor?”

His face betrays his surprise. “You’re the one they talk about. Every companion mentions you.”

“I’ve been here since the beginning. Since the day you ran away.”

“Why haven’t I seen you? If you’ve been here.”

“That’s a bit of a long story.”

“We have nothing if not time,” he replies, taking a seat on the tire next to him. She could argue against that. But she can’t deny him the time he has left to be guilt-free. She isn’t ready for this man to become _her_ Doctor. She joins him on it.

“I didn’t start out as Bad Wolf,” she says staring outward, “Planet Earth. That is where I was born. And that is where I died. For the first nineteen years of my life, nothing happened. Nothing at all. Not ever. And then I met a man called the Doctor. And he took me away from home in his magical machine. He showed me the whole of time and space. I thought it would never end.” She laughs, a small smile on her face, “That's what I thought. But then came the daleks. Then came Bad Wolf. And that's when it all ended.”  She meets her Doctor’s blue eyes. “This isn’t a happy story Doctor. This is the story of how I died.” She breaks eye contact again.

“I was given a choice. He tried to send me away. To keep me safe. We were on Satellite 5. The daleks were going to invade and he promised my Mum that he’d keep me safe. Above all else, he wanted to keep me safe. I understand that, I really do, but I couldn’t stand it. So I came back. I gazed into the Heart of the TARDIS and absorbed its power. I saved him. And that was my choice. I saw everything. I saw us here, now, talking. I watched the Time War end. And I saw every possibility I had. I saw my life laid out in front of me and I could pick which option I wanted. There were only two paths. I could have taken a few more adventures with him. But I would have ended up in a parallel universe where he couldn’t reach me. I couldn’t do that.

“The other option was to not let him save me. I could face my punishment for taking the TARDIS’s power but I could be with him forever. It really wasn’t a choice at all.

“But there were consequences for what I did. Sacrifices I made to stay with him forever.” She touches her throat. “I lost my voice. I was bound to the TARDIS. And he couldn’t see me.”

“Why would you choose that?” her Doctor asks, “You chose an eternity alone.”

She looks at him. “I love you,” she replies, “I would make the same choice a thousand times to remain with you forever. And I wasn’t really alone. Your companions all saw me. You never realized, but I helped them. I instructed them when they didn’t know what to do and you weren’t there. Who do you think saved Grace and Lee?”

“You did that?”

“Well after you gave me the Master I had some energy to spare. They didn’t deserve to die after all. What about the beginning? Who do you think helped you pick out your TARDIS? Do you think it was a coincidence that you picked me?”

“The woman with the brown hair?”

“A friend of mine. You meet her a lot later. You have several companions before she comes around. But yes, I told her which one to tell you to take. I’ve been helping from behind the scenes the entire time. Without my voice.”

“Amazing,” he says. Her heart flutters a bit.

“When do I meet you?” he questions.

“To quote a friend of mine, spoilers,” she teases.

“What?”

“I can’t tell you.”

 “Just once, I want to know where I’m going,” he replies, “You have the answers.”

She sighs. What does it matter? He won’t remember anyway. “You have a dark path,” she admits, “But you meet the most amazing people. You grow from this experience. It will take a long time but you’re going to be okay.”

He looks back at the Moment and she copies his action. “All those people.”

“The universe will be destroyed. No one will be spared. How much longer do you think it will take for the war to reach Earth? How many more people will die?”

He sighs. Slowly, he stands and she does too. She takes his hand and together they walk over to the Moment. He places his other hand on the button.

“I’m not going to survive this am I?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“Not as you. You become my Doctor. The man I met fresh from the battlefield. I would do anything to protect him and I will do anything to protect you. From here to the end of eternity, I will be here and I will protect you.” She leans forward and kisses him gently. Although initially taken by surprise, he quickly kisses her back.

She thinks her heart may burst from joy. She’s waited for this for a very long time. He is not the Doctor she met, this isn’t the kiss she stepped away from, but she is thankful for the moment she has been given. He breaks away from her.

"Before I do this, may I ask you something?"

This time, she is the one who is confused. "What?"

“Why do they call you the woman in gold?”

She laughs quickly. “I am normally dressed in gold. It’s a manifestation from the Heart of the TARDIS. I don’t know why I’m dressed like this. A gift from the Moment, I guess.”

“They also call you a goddess.”

“That is very flattering,” she says flirtatiously. He smiles at her.

 “Thank you Bad Wolf.”  Closing his eyes, he presses the button down.

The regeneration process starts immediately. Her Doctor is enveloped in a bright orange light. She watches him but she notices that her new clothes are fading, being replaced with her red sweatshirt and black pants.

She doesn’t know if he can hear her anymore but she says, “The Time War ends. I will keep you safe.”

***

Her Doctor is broken. She’s never seen an empty shell move before but she knows now what it looks like.

She would try to soothe him but she is mute again. He cannot see her anymore. Her punishment continues.

It’s time for her to let her Doctor do what he does best. She sets the TARDIS coordinates for Earth, London England, 2005. He tries to reset them at first but once he realizes the danger there he allows the TARDIS to follow its course.

Out he’ll go, running through the streets of London. There’s a shop under attack. An ordinary girl will be inside, looking for a man named Wilson to give him the lottery money before the shop locks up. She doesn’t know it yet but she’s in danger and she’s about to have the time of her life. He’ll go to her, grab her hand, and say, “Run!”

**Author's Note:**

> Summer vacation hasn't been as productive as I hoped it would be. I hope I did the Eighth Doctor justice. I really love him. Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome. Thanks for reading.


End file.
